We Fall Slowly
by MG12CSI16
Summary: "It's a dream that died before it ever really got the chance to morph into something bigger, something akin to the contents of fairy-tales and story books. They could have been happy together..." Only now she's sitting in front of him broken and scarred and the only thing he can say to her is, I told you so. Post Forget Me Not. Sandle, mentions of GSR.


Woah. It's been a long time since I've written anything for CSI or Sandle. This idea just randomly came to me after watching Forget Me Not again and even as a die-hard Sandle fan I was pretty broken up over the GSR split. However, watching it for the second time did give me a little shove when it came to writing for this show again and I couldn't resist throwing some of that Greg/Sara tension and chemistry in there.

Lyrics are from the song Ghosts We Knew by Mumford and Sons.

Enjoy!

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**We Fall Slowly**

_You saw my pain, washed out in the rain_

_And broken glass, saw the blood run from my veins_

_But you saw no fault, no cracks in my heart_

_And you knelt beside, my hope torn apart_

In a haze of cigarette smoke he reaches out, fingers fumbling with his car keys as the cold wind bit at his exposed skin. His mind is reeling, spinning madly in a desperate attempt to clear itself and move on but the images and the sounds and every touch and shared smile is igniting inside of him, tension mounting and heart shattering all in a single moment. In reality it's her that makes the decision, that has him gripping the steering wheel with ghost white knuckles and a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach.

Greg doesn't think of it as destiny, it's not fate or even luck because that would be a horrible thing to wish for and he knows these two people were happy, even if only for what seems like a short time. It's a dream that died before it ever really got the chance to morph into something bigger, something akin to the contents of fairy-tales and story books. They could have been happy together if sacrifice wasn't such a scary concept, and he wonders if he would have had the strength to give up things he had worked so hard for even for her. Gut clenching guilt is telling him no, his mind is screaming at him about how unfair he's always been towards Grissom.

Hypocritical. Selfish. A man in love.

It's all he's ever been, since the first day when she smiled in his direction and the synapses in his brain began to spark and all he could see was her. He was blinded then, only to be blinded now to everyone else who could possibly make him happy.

Slowly the house comes into view, through the rain that he wasn't even aware was falling, and he laughs because now it's once again Grissom's house and he's not even here. She's a prisoner in a house that once belonged to her, where she had a family and a life and the pieces of this puzzle seemed to fit together.

Parked in the driveway he feels out of place. There's something inside of him that says he should be at home, not interfering in the life of the one person he wants to be happy and he knows if he goes in there and tells her what's been on his mind for the last thirteen years than happy is the last thing she'll ever be and he'll never forgive himself for that. Opening the door and shielding his face from the ice-cold drops Greg jogs to the front porch, hand poised above the wood of the door, unsure if he should knock or not.

As if on cue the door swings open before he even makes up his mind and all of a sudden she's in front of him, her hair tied up and her baggy pajama's hanging on her hips with a sliver of milky skin drawing his gaze down. He forces himself to look away, to keep himself focused. He came here for a reason.

With a brief smile that does little to mask the obvious pain in her eyes she stands back and allows him inside, the warmth hitting him instantly and giving him a sense of security. It's been a while since he's been here, she's kept him at a distance recently and it wasn't until this whole mess started to bring the skeletons out of the closet that he understood why. She was embarrassed, heartbroken. Torn to shreds by the one person who was supposed to protect her, and that pisses him off.

_So lead me back_

_Turn south from that place_

_And close my eyes to my recent disgrace_

_Cause you know my call_

_And we'll share my all_

Greg shrugs off his jacket and tosses it on the back of a wooden chair, shoving his hands deep in the pockets of his jeans and standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room because now that he's here and she's waiting on him to explain he can't seem to find the words. And if he's being completely honest he doesn't know exactly why he's here, just that he _needs _to be.

He clears his throat loudly, "I'm sorry it's so late. I just wanted to know if you were OK because I don't know if I am and I just needed to see you." he runs his fingers through his hair and tugs on the ends, frustrated and exhausted.

Sara steps a little closer to him, her arms wrapped around her body as if trying to protect herself against everything that's going on. "I'm fine, if you can call it that. But I don't know if I will be tomorrow or next week. It's like I don't know anything anymore."

She gives a breathless laugh and drops onto the sofa, waits for him to sit down next to her and he pretends his heart doesn't race when she visibly relaxes.

He wishes she would just stop doing that to him.

"Would you hate me if I said I told you so?"

"Maybe. But you'd be right, so it wouldn't do much good." He cracks a smile, looks up and locks eyes with her and feels the hair on the back of neck stand up. She's hypnotizing and she doesn't even know it.

"I hate him for hurting you, you know that. But I think I hate him more for taking a gamble on you, pretending like he knows everything will turn out perfectly when in reality he doesn't know a damn thing. He might be one of the smartest people I know but he doesn't know a damn thing when it comes to you."

"And you know everything right?" her tone is teasing but her eyes and her body language is challenging him.

"I know what scares you, what makes you smile. I know when you need to be alone and when you need someone to sit beside you and make sure you don't lose your fucking mind... I know that it should have been me and that I'm an asshole for saying it. But honestly Sar, I can't understand how he does what he does to you."

_But hold me still, bury my heart on the coals_

_And hold me still, bury my heart next to yours_

The watery smile she gives him takes him by surprise. She's not one for crying, even in front of him and now his stomach is churning with guilt and regret and what feels like a million other emotions. He opens his mouth to let the apologies flow but her gravelly voice cuts through and his mouth snaps shut almost instantly.

"I always thought Grissom was the one. Since that first seminar I always _wanted _him to be the one and that's what brought me here. It wasn't the opportunity or the people or the city, it was him and I made it my first priority to make him see that we had the potential to be something amazing." she laughs again but this time it's bitter and she wipes away tears as they trail down her cheeks. "I just wanted someone to love me the way I knew he could, but I guess I was wrong and he just wasn't ready."

"I could have loved you like that you know. And I never would have regretted any of it and I never would have _left _to pick up the pieces while I frolicked on the other side of the world and pretended that I hadn't just destroyed you." His head falls into his hands, chest heaving and blood pumping, roaring in his ears like the thunder and rain outside.

"I just think things would have been better if it had been me. And I know you don't want to hear it but you're my best friend and I love you. I just need you to hear that I love you and it's never going to change and I'll always be waiting."

Greg's chest tightens with every breath he takes, legs shaking as he stands up because now that his point has been made and he's torn down every wall he's managed to build around her he has nothing left to say or do. She's crying on the couch behind him, the sobs shaking her and sounding like strangled gasps from behind.

Pulling on his jacket he has every intention of walking out the door and letting the rain soak him, washing away everything about this encounter and the past thirteen years before he drowns himself in a bottle of whiskey, but the strangled whisper from behind makes him freeze and his heart threatens to stop.

"Please...don't go. I love you Greg. I love you so much it hurts and I'm so sorry it's taken this long to realize it." Sara's on her feet now, shaky steps bringing them closer until he can smell the shampoo in her hair.

With trembling fingers her hand rests on his cheek, snaking around the back of his neck and tangling in his hair while she pulls him closer. With bated breath their lips collide, warmth and electricity running through his body and a release so great it threatens to destroy him right then and there. he wraps his arms around her and when they break apart in a desperate need for air he holds her close and promises he's never letting go again.

_The ghosts that we knew made us black and all blue_

_But we'll live a long life_

_And the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view_

_And we'll live a long life_


End file.
